Happy Anniversary.
As a society, we pay tribute to anniversaries. Historical dates from the past that we put significant meaning on. Some joyful, some sorrowful. As these anniversaries pass us by each year, the gift that we possess is that we have the opportunity to choose how we honour them. For me, July 20th will forever be a significant, life-changing anniversary date.
On July 20, 2018, my position as the Training and Quality Manager for the hotel brand I was employed with, was eliminated from its leadership roster. The news shook me to my core. But, truthfully, it was not entirely a surprise. In hotels, it happens, a lot. Even still, in the moment, it felt like I was pushed from behind into a deep, dark pool of ice-cold water. You know the feeling; it’s a jolt that takes your breath away. After all, it was a position I loved, climbed up the ladder in Canada for 10 years to achieve, and lucky for me, I worked with people I adored. It was a dream team of industry all stars who I still respect and adore today. It has been the highlight and proudest achievement of my career thus far. We endured and overcame extremely difficult, unchartered situations that no other hotel group in the world has ever had to face. With all of the negative noise on the outside, the hotel became the first in Canadian history to achieve a Forbes 5 Star rating within one year of operation. How did we do it? That’s a different story for a different day.
I arrived home around 11:00am after drying off from my ice water bath. My wife and two-year-old daughter were outside watering the garden in front of the new house we had recently moved into. My daughter ran to me with open arms and squealed without hesitation, “Daddy!”. My wife asked what I was doing home so early on a Thursday. This moment was (at the time,) one of the hardest moments of my adult life. As I held my daughter, I took a breath, kept it simple and told her. My wife, immediately responded without missing a beat, “this is the best thing that could have ever happened to you”. I replied with a lump in my throat, “I know”. Deep down in my heart, although I was in shock and had tears filling my eyes, I knew she was right.
The past 525,600 minutes have taken me on an unexpected and liberating journey of self-reflection and realignment in every aspect of my life. One that I assume most people don’t get the opportunity to do at this stage in their careers. I’m supposed to be in the prime of my professional life. “The earning years” for my nest egg. In retrospect, the year has provided me with an abundance of humbling lessons, teachings and important refreshers.
In my personal life, one of those aspects has been fatherhood. What a precious gift I’ve been given to be able to be at home with my daughter and experience the majesty of watching her grow into life. Our Daddy/Daughter adventures went from only having the weekends, to every day this year. It’s incredible how one of the most difficult situations has led to a life changing year for us both, one that I will certainly never forget. It’s a year that I will reference back to at her wedding someday.
It’s also taught me a lesson in EMPATHY for my superstar wife. When I was with the hotel, an average workday was from 5:30am to 7:30pm. (Parents reading will appreciate this part.) For instance, I had no idea how hard it was do the morning routine and daycare drop off with a two-year old. That alone felt like a full day of work. I wonder how many calories one burns when doing that? Then to top it off with making lunches, various housework, paying bills, making dinner, daycare pick-up, bath and bed time routine, combined with working a demanding full-time job. I. Had. No. Idea. I would arrive home shortly after my wife would experience all of that parental bliss. Timely, I know. Having a year to participate as a leading player in these tasks has made me an even better husband, father, cook (questionable) and overall human being. What a gift. I highly recommend it to my fellow fathers out there.
When I was 15, my father took me out and helped me get my first job. It was on the assembly line of a well-known fast food taco establishment. From that day, I’ve been employed. So naturally, I began carefully mining for my next move that would ideally take me through the next chapter of my career. I was a job seeker for the first time in almost 10 years, since first moving to Canada. I began searching for a role with a company where I could inspire and influence, while supporting and enhancing its culture and values. This dream role would be various parts: people & culture, customer service focused, and learning & development where I could bring people together and help them excel, both individually and as a team. That is my sweet spot, my wheelhouse, my niche, my passion.
I quickly realized that there was a learning curve to being on the other side of the HR fence in 2018. The landscape had changed so much. I was from the bygone era of “Times New Roman”. I was thrust into a new era of networking events, casual coffee interviews, job fairs where resumes were not accepted, LinkedIn, and sent down the rabbit hole of building a catchy (but not too catchy) resume and cover letter with a trendy font. For months, I felt like the fuzz of a dandelion being blown around the city, waiting for the phone to ring. I was applying to online robots with no human interaction, I spent hours filling out qualifying questionnaires, learning what colour on the rainbow I was as a leader, meeting with recruiters, and templated phone interviews with HR screeners. I was swirling around in an HR cyclone, hustling and grinding to “be the right fit”.
The good news is that in all of that swirling, I had been fortunate to meet and/or (re)connect with incredible people. If you are reading this, I’m talking about you. Professionals that are doing inspiring, invigorating work for their companies or their very own brand of business. I was invited to attend a Business Network International (BNI) meeting where I met 30+ entrepreneurs bringing their passions to life and sharing it with the business world. Each of them stood up and shared for 20 seconds(ish) what they do and why they do it. These people were brave, bold and totally committed to their purpose. I was inspired.
From a connection that I had made at BNI, I was introduced to a career coach to help tweak my approach in seeking the next chapter of my career. To my surprise, in the first five minutes of our conversation he said with absolute certainty “it’s so clear to me that you should be doing your own thing”. Truth be told, I have had this said to me from people I know in my circle of trust (including my wife) for years, but never from someone I had just met. I consider myself a spiritual person. One that believes that everything happens for a reason. That the universe is always showing us signs on how to proceed. Why did I keep hearing this suggestion? Why wasn’t I answering the call? I’ve been working for someone since I was 15, and was never unemployed. Even at 40, I thought that I was going to dedicate my passions of HR, customer service and learning & development to one particular business or organization.
“It’s because you’re not meant to work for just one company Jeffrey, your voice is too loud”, my dear friend and entrepreneur, Thomas DeSchutter, so eloquently said to me. After almost a year of mining carefully for the diamond in the rough, on a rainy April day in Vancouver, the sun came out. I finally saw what so many others could see that I could not. It was right in front of me all along.
Sometimes it takes 10 years to get that 1 year that will change your life. I didn’t know mine would come shortly after my 40th birthday in the summer of 2018. Turning 40 brings forth enough heavy milestones and epiphanies, here was one more that the universe was handing over to me.
The novel, “The Alchemist” by Paulo Coelho, tells the story of a shepherd who is able to find a treasure beyond his wildest dreams. On the year long journey, he sees the signs, meets people that move him forward and ultimately, he learns to listen to his heart and, more importantly, realizes that his dreams were right in front of him the entire time.
July 20, 2019 will be a new, happy anniversary date for me. Stay tuned for a very exciting announcement that promises to bring us even closer together and connect us for a greater, more meaningful purpose.